I sat next to my Papa's bed, holding his hand, and just loving him. They were precious, final moments. "Has my life amounted to anything?" If you knew my Papa in any capacity, it almost sounds like a ridiculous question he presented to me and my husband. It was a rhetorical question and one that you could tell he had really pondered over the last several months. And now he was presenting it to us. The question actually pained my heart. I desperately wanted to wrap my arms around him tightly. And if it weren't for the pain he was in, I would have. I settled for squeezing his hand ever-so-lightly and simply said, "Papa, it has! More than you know!" We talked for a few minutes about how he knew his life amounted to something of significance. It started with my grandmother, then my mom and my aunt, down into his grandchildren, and great grandchildren. "My girls", he called all of us. I remember he used to call me on the phone and say, "how's my girl?" I would always have to ask, "well, Papa, which one are you talking about?"
Last year, doctors told my mom to be prepared that in the next few days or weeks, she could lose her daddy. I was about 7 months pregnant with my younger daughter and I remember praying so very hard, "God, PLEASE, let him meet my baby girl." It was a plea of desperation. The thought that my Papa would never meet her on this earth was gut wrenching. Little Ryan Taylor was born and my grandfather got to hold her.
It was the only time he would get to before the effects of cancer would no longer make that possible. Thank you, Lord, for that small "yes".
My older daughter adored her Papa. At Christmas, she crawled up in his lap as we prayed over our food, leaned her head into his chest and looked up at him. I took a mental picture of that moment. It was precious. It was gentle. It was sweet. She may be only 4, but I know, because of how he loved her, she will remember him always. I asked her after leaving his house the other day if it would be okay for Papa to go to heaven. She reluctantly nodded and then said, "he won't hurt anymore. He gets to be with Jesus!" My sweet, Kylee.
My Papa left behind a legacy of love and gentleness. Aside from Jesus, he was the most servant-hearted man that ever lived. He served in big ways and small. But when you're doing kingdom work, no service is ever too small. He built water wells in Africa and Nicaragua. He was the liaison between Nicaragua and Living Water, just to name a few. If you've ever been at a family gathering of ours, he was usually elbow deep in carving a turkey, or filling ice in glasses and then being last to grab a plate. He was always serving others so sometimes it was hard to find ways to serve him. I got news a few weeks back that he had been rushed to the hospital. Mom told me I could come but that he was asleep and likely wouldn't know I was there. I came anyways, because he always did for me. I walked in the room and his eyes opened up. "You didn't have to come," he said. I held his hand and helped him sip water from a straw. It was the very least I could do for everything he has ever done for me.
He helped me move from my apartment at Sam Houston State University to my apartment at Texas A&M University. He graduated from Texas A&M, class of 1960 and he was in the corps of cadets. I don't know much about his time there (although I'm now determined to find out more) but I will never forget that car ride with him. My truck was loaded down and a new, exciting journey was beginning for me. As we entered into College Station, I remember driving down University with him as he pointed out where he and his buddies used to hang out. My Papa is never ever one to talk about himself so I loved listening to story after story. My Papa is always so supportive in everything each one of us does. But my enrollment to his alma mater bonded us in a totally new way. And you better believe that on my Aggie Ring Day, he was right behind me, doing yells with the entire student body. He was so proud. He showed off what a "true Aggie ring looks like", which, for those of you that don't know, is his--a ring that is so smoothed over, only an Aggie would know what it was.
My Papa set a firm foundation for our family. We have two purposes in life. To love God, and love others. It's one thing to be taught something by word of mouth but it's another thing to learn by demonstration. My Papa loved and loved well. He lived out Jesus to every one he knew. He asked if his life had amounted to anything and it pains my heart because there's no possible way I could have counted the many ways it has! My husband knows how to love me and my girls because of him. I know what true gentleness and patience is because of him. I know Jesus because of him. Did your life amount to anything? Sweet, Papa, YES!
Just wait 'til you see your crown of jewels.
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